Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Which Way is Up?

Each year I purposefully avoid making New Year's resolutions. I mean, why set yourself up for failure anyway. I kind of laughed this morning as it dawned on me that "Hey, I think God has, in a round about way, set a New Year's resolution for me". What is the resolution all about you ask. What is it that our almighty, all knowing God thinks that I need to work on? Flexibility!!! Wow, that's a big one God. I'm really going to need your help on this one.

Let me explain in further detail. For those of you who don't know me so well, I'm your typical "A" personality. I thrive on schedules, list and order, not to mention neatness. All of a sudden my 2009 has started with one of the biggest changes, my hubby's new job with the railroad. After the five grueling weeks of school without him around, now he's actually working and I find that I don't know which end is up any more. I find myself thinking first thing in the morning, "Am I in bed alone or is my favorite guy next to me?" "Is he coming home this morning, tonight or tomorrow morning?" As far as that goes, "What day is it and when did he leave?"

Now that's confusing enough but then let's move on to railroad time. Hold on tight, here we go. Not only does the railroad use military time but they also use Eastern time, and let me point out that we live in the Central time zone. Thank goodness God had the foreknowledge to know that my job as personnel manager and having to do time cards, using military time, would come in handy 10 years down the road. Okay, moving right along, employees must have so many hours of rest before they can be called up to catch the next train, and how many hour off is dependent on how many hours they just worked. Is your head spinning yet? I find myself trying to figure out "okay, what time did he get home and when could he possibly get called up?; should I try to fit in the home schooling before he goes to work or after he leaves? What about a shower." Once hubby receives the "call" he has two hours to report to work. I think it was his second time out I found myself asking the silly question "So, what time do you have to be there?"' his response is "14:30". Okay 14:30, let me see, that would be 2:30 right? No, 1:30. What??? 14 minus 12 is 2 the last time I checked, isn't it? Oh, I forgot about the silly Eastern time zone thing. This conversation sounded much like that old familiar "Who's On First". I've decided to make things a little easier on myself by simply asking "when did you get the call?" then I know that he has two hours before he goes off on another ride.

In the middle of all this change in work schedules I'm trying to figure out how my sweet hubby can get the adequate sleep he needs, plus time to spend quality time playing with our four-year-old, and not to mention have a few precious moments with me. I'd like to see if any of you mathematical geniuses out there can come up with the right equation for me to accomplish this task. We haven't even began to calculate how do I plan and fix our meals, fit in the home schooling and the countless other task that need to get checked off the list today. One thing is for sure, I'm having to learn to let go of my tightly clutched fist on my schedules and to be flexible. There, I said it... flexible. Not something I feel to comfortable with in all honesty.

I think this is something that God is going to use to stretch me, to grow me, to be more like Him. This has really caused me to think about what is the most important things in my life and then to be flexible with everything else. I can't believe I'm even saying these words. All of you "A" type people out there can feel the uncomfortable place God has me right now, can't ya?

God also brought to my attention the verse in Philippians 4:11, Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. Not only must I learn to let go and be flexible but I must also be content. Lord, I'm really going to need your help here. Please teach me.


C.C. and Double T said...

I feel it, girl, I feel it!

Kyle said...

I had to chuckle a few times when I read this post. Anyone who has gotten to know Shawna well knows just how big of a task this will be. Not to big for our GOD though. Shawna, you will have our prayers. I'm not sure you'll find a perfect equation to order this new stage of life but maybe that's the point.

Katie said...

I was wondering how you were doing this week. Now I know. I'll be praying for your adjustment.

Lisa said...

I totally understand! Nothing makes a parent happier than their children learning. I have to picture God smiling at your willingness to learn. "You'll get used to it" sounds overly simplistic but oh so true. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

WOW! I didn't think i would ever here these words from you. I didn't see it coming either. Letting go and being flexible one tight finger at a time will be an interesting road to travel for you. I am left wondering what you be like after you have learned what He is teaching. I will have to get to know my best friend all over again! Left smiling at this challenge...Renee