Thursday, January 1, 2009

Will This Be The Year?

On this first day of 2009 I can't help but to think "Will this be the year Emma comes home?" Oh how I pray that it is. Actually, I noticed that as we went through several of our Christmas traditions I would picture our sweet China doll in the middle of it all. As we were in line waiting to see Santa I said "Eli, next year Emma should be in the picture with you and Santa". I cautiously realized that I may be setting myself up for a heartbreak. One thing that we have learned on this adoption journey is that it is filled with many unknowns and when will we bring Emma home is just one.

I have to admit that as I sit here at the beginning of this new year and I see the long road ahead of us I think, "I just can't do it". I don't have it in me to go through another year with this gigantic hole in my heart that is painfully real and runs deep. However, I hear God's voice saying "I know, I never said you could but I have always said I would".

Thank you dear God for the many blessing you have lavished upon us during 2009. I pray that I remember that when I am weak, then I am strong. Thank you for your never ending strength to carry me through this journey. I pray that I will boldly take one step at a time.

6 comments:

C.C. and Double T said...

Amen.

Lisa said...

Thank you so much for posting this. We are also in the wait and you expressed many of my feelings toward our new year. I needed to read ths today. I appreciate you!

Lisa said...

Hello again!
I went back and read your first post - how awesome is that! I too got chill pumps when I read your post about your stones. I have been planning on collecting twelve stones from KayLi's province and setting them up, exactly the way you did! I hope we are able to find stones as pretty as yours.
Please know I will be praying for you each time I think of you!!!
Many Blessings for an amazing 2009!

Renee Francis said...

Shawna,
You are a blessing to many. Each day is one day closer to Emma. Hang on to His hand. He will carry you when you are weak. Love you...Na

C.C. and Double T said...

Shawna,

Thank you for your comment today. I have been very discouraged in our process lately, and your words meant a lot to me.

Jazmyne Rose-Noel Rees said...

Shawna,

Please consider a child with a minor or correctable condition. Come and see our blog www.jazzyrose.blogspot.com and meet the daughter that we got referred to us just 6 short months from filling out the very 1st adoption paper. She is a gifted child with an extra toe on each foot. Well that was until this past Friday when she had surgery. Just 4 months after coming home with us one surgery and no more Special Needs! Even something as simple as a birth mark on a child's leg or arm can put them in this category. Unfortunately, when people hear Special Needs it scares them off. They have no idea that most of these children have very little wrong with them. Start to finish we were done with the entire process and Jazmyne Rose-Noel was in our arms!
Kathy Rees
www.jazzyrose.blogspot.com